we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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