i don't like sucking hair
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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