Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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