I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
