The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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