Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she looked like the before picture.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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