He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
