covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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