It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
