i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
