She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
