and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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