I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
