I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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