hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Pooping to opera.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
