Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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