Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
