im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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