I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
