Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
