id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
