She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
