Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
