I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
