Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
