i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
