She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
