I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
oh god the rape fog is back!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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