There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
