She is in my trunk
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
