He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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