She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
