Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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