I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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