so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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