You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
