Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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