I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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