...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
