Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
