Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
