Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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