i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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