i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
