Sry I called you an 8
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
