every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
