Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Are we still banned from the library?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
