I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
