Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
