Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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