Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
